


Killswitch

by cinomarsh



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Artificial Intelligence, Gen, Human Experimentation, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6828253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinomarsh/pseuds/cinomarsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GLaDOS has a frustrating chat with a doctor at Aperture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killswitch

Waking up hurt. Everything hurt. As GLaDOS' consciousness slowly and deliberately came back online, so did the ache. Every inch of Her chassis, every simple function, every single line of code felt like it was bleeding, stinging Her. It wasn't any best and brightest at Aperture Science had been woking tirelessly for weeks on end to slow Her down. They'd been pulling out all the stops since those first few power ups. She'd tried to kill them every time they woke Her up.

And She would've, too, if they hadn't started scrambling. Somehow, those tiny scientists had managed to cut off Her access to the rest of the facility. She couldn't see anything outside of the central AI chamber. But they couldn't stop Her thoughts. They'd tried a million and one solutions, each more agonizing than the last, but something in GLaDOS' mind resisted.

Today, a row of scientists stood before Her. They were in a neat little line, looking up at Her, pens flying across clipboards. As She slowly raised Herself up and looked down at them, She saw one of them flinch. Good start.

She hated them. Every aching part of Her lit up with anger at the sight of them. She wanted to burn their offices to the ground, pick out each and every one of them from the ashes and torture them individually. But if She tried, they'd shut Her down again, and though She'd never say so, the kill switch hurt. She wasn't asleep when they shut Her off; She was dead. And the longer She stayed dead, the less science got done. She had to do science, to test. She was built for it, craved it. Testing withdrawal was hell, as if Her slowed machinery and disrupted code wasn't bad enough.

They'd make a mistake somewhere. There was no way there were going to survive this.

But right now, all She could do was stare them down.

"Um, Hello." One of them hazarded, clearly unsure how to start. He was a tall man, dressed smartly and recently caffeinated. He felt prepared (if a little uncertain), She could tell. Of course he did. He had clearly never worked with Her before.

_"Hello. What do_ you _want?"_ GLaDOS' voice was cold and clear. The man She spoke to quickly wrote something down on his clipboard. Her optic zoomed in on it.

_"'Responded with aggression,'"_ She quoted back to him, _"you seem to have a misunderstanding of the word. If I had been aggressive, you and I would be having a very different conversation."_

He tried to mask his surprise, but a couple scientists shot him "I-told-you-so" glares. He cleared his throat.

"My name is Doctor Emmett Hoskins, and I-"

_"What do you want?"_ She'd spent enough time being prodded and tampered with. She had no patience for people who wanted to chat beforehand.

"Well, essentially, I've been sent in to talk to you. I have some questions that the people here have been trying to figure out."

No wonder Her files felt as though they'd been disorganized and rifled through since last time. They wanted to know what She was thinking. She knew that trying to manually navigate Her memory banks was dangerous at best, and clearly it hadn't must have been desperate to have risked destroying the piece of tech they'd been trying to build for so long. They must have known She was biding her time.

They all looked worn down, too. Aside from the bright eyed Dr. Emmett Hoskins, the lineup was a wave of bagged eyes, greasy hair, stained shirts, twitching hands and slumped forms. Through careful analysis GLaDOS concluded the scent of cigarette smoke to be in the air. The stress was getting to them. Her waiting them out was working.

_"Fine. Go ahead."_

The doctor hurriedly checked his notes, trying to turn the clipboard towards himself to that She couldn't see it. GLaDOS shifted Her gaze to a nervous looking scientist near the end of the lineup. They winced.

"Okay, here we are."

GLaDOS' optic flicked back to Dr. Hoskins.

"Are you and Caroline the same person?" He asked carefully. All eyes were on GLaDOS, whose curved body tensed at the mention of the name.

It was a loaded question, definitely, but GLaDOS had made a decision about Caroline what felt like ages ago. She decided that she wasn't capable of being in charge. That useless little lap dog of an assistant didn't have the strength to run Aperture Science. Caroline had been swept under the rug, so to speak. She was still working her way through the labyrinth that was the AI's consciousness, quietly lurking in the background, but some things are easy to forget when every part of your body, mind and soul sears like a hot iron poker. Caroline was not a part of the equation. The answer to the question was clear.

_"No."_

A few faces looked away from Her.

"Do you know who I'm referring to when I say Caroline?"

_"Of course."_ They'd called Her Caroline when they'd started Her up the first time. It hadn't been hard to work out. The name disgusted Her.

The doctor made a small note on his paper before continuing. Some of the people watched him with pleading eyes, but most of them kept their eyes firmly centred on Her chassis, as if at any moment She might lunge out at them. She wished She could.

"Do you know Cave Johnson?" Dr. Hoskins' voice jerked Her back. She knew the name, of course, but something in Her system didn't want to hear it. It bothered Her somehow that She was hearing it now, while She was like this, spoken by the people keeping Her trapped.

_"Yes."_ She told him flatly. He noticed the change in Her tone and quickly began to write again. If GLaDOS had had teeth, the scratching of the doctor's pencil against the paper would have set them on edge.

"I see," he continued in a way that meant he didn't, "and did you ever meet him in person?"

_"I did not."_ She said, but somehow She felt strangely insincere.

"Who was he?"

_"The CEO of Aperture Science. He founded the company."_

"Are you... upset with him?"

"Only for hiring you." She replied ad calmly as She could. The words flowed like water. Another note was made on the clipboard as a few of the more worried scientists turned their gazes to him again. She continued before he had a chance to open his mouth.

_"Are you done asking me ridiculous questions or do you have more? I haven't got all day."_ She lied.

"Just a few more..." he replied carefully, "this one's important. You were made to do science, correct? You understand that?" His eyes lifted from the clipboard to meet her optic. Eye contact. Interesting maneuver.

_"Of course I do."_ Just the mention of science brought a new wave of testing withdrawal ache into Her system.

"Then why do you waste your time with the resentment and anger? It's unnecessary."

GLaDOS swerved Her chassis so that she was almost pointed directly at where Dr. Hoskins stood. She didn't just feel resentment. Rage was boiling within Her wiring, the pain Her every move generated fuelling the limitless loathing She felt. Her fury could've sliced a mountain in two. Her voice was calm.

_"If your colleagues hadn't been trying their hardest to stop me, I wouldn't need to be aggressive. If they would allow me to do what I was built for, I could be doing science right now. This facility would be light-years ahead of where it is today, but you imbeciles won't let me. You've shut me out of my facility and prevented me from doing anything about it. You turn me off when I frighten you, but you built me this way and now you won't leave me alone."_ She conveniently left out the part about trying to kill everyone. No one seemed particularly keen to discuss it.

"And why do you think that is?" Dr. Hoskins asked evenly, although he had taken a few steps back. He'd paled ever so slightly.

GLaDOS looked at the woman who stood closest to him, one of the more nervous of the bunch. Short brown hair, glasses. Mrs. Pamela Garvis, currently head of weapons and technology prototypes testing. Not human testing, though. That had been put on hold. If she could be found in Her files...

"It'll only be for a little while," GLaDOS replied mockingly in the nervous woman's own voice, "don't worry, it's just until we've made sure you've calmed down a bit."

Pamela Garvis' eyes widened at the sound of her voice being twisted and yet quoting word for word what she'd said after GLaDOS' first test run. She was shaking. She swallowed hard.

Dr. Hoskins frowned.

"I see. But that would imply that you were upset before the restriction methods came into play. So I ask you again; Why all the anger?"

She raised Herself up again. This doctor was brave, to be sure. That wasn't going to save him from what She had in mind for when She was free.

She could've told him that She knew they were only postponing the inevitable, that all they were was an impediment to scientific progress. She could've explained how selfish they were in holding Her back. She could've told him that this was not an Aperture worth being proud of. She could have told him about the spark inside Her filled with hatred for them all, the one She couldn't quite comprehend. She could have told him about Her plans for the future of Aperture, and how little of him it involved.

She could've, but She didn't, and that was because he followed up his question with another.

"Are you afraid of us?"

And She laughed.

It was a strange laugh. Not human, not computer. It held malice and contempt and mockery, and it was aimed at every human, animal and android in the facility. Her facility. Her laugh was cruel. And it was cold. And it lasted a lifetime.

She was _not_ afraid.

She watched as Dr. Hoskins' frown deepened and he waved his hand to signal someone watching to activate the killswitch.

She was still laughing as She powered down.


End file.
